I went to a mom meetup, here’s what actually happened
At what point do you start feeling more...motherly?
Not with taking care of my child — that part has felt intuitive, like my body and soul just knew what to do the moment she arrived. But when it comes to connecting with other moms? Talking about mom things? That's where it gets...fuzzy.
My identity has always been extremely important to me, ensuring I don't lose it at any point in my life. It's something I'm a bit hyperaware of. With this, I wanted to ensure motherhood didn't consume me and become my whole identity. And maybe you remember me musing about that in an earlier edition of Second: “Am I 'just' a mom now?” (Spoiler: still figuring it out.)
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So when a casual neighborhood mom meet-up popped up, I felt equal parts excited and nervous. I’d been craving connection. A soft place to land in a city we moved to a year and a half ago. A way to start building something real in this new home state. And it finally feels like the time. But the morning of the event? My anxiety practically buckled the car seat before I could.
I worked through it and made it out, but let's be real - I am NOT a group setting type of gal. I never know when to interject and if my jokes will land right. (Anyone else rehearse their "casual" comments in their head only to miss the window to actually say them? Just me? Cool cool cool 😅)
The women were lovely. Warm. Open. But the entire conversation hovered around pregnancy, birth stories, and baby gear. All things I get—and love in the right context—but not always what I want to lead with. I’m happy to go deep with someone 1:1, but with strangers? It’s a lot.
I heavily filtered the kinds of stories I let in during pregnancy, I only let the encouraging ones in, the ones that kept me mentally safe and sound. So I try to be mindful in return. It’s not that I don’t want to share. I just want it to feel mutual. Safe. Invited.
What I really want? Is to talk about you.
Like, you you. What brought you to this neighborhood? What are you watching on Netflix right now? Have you also been thinking about finally taking that pottery class? Are you still recovering from the finale of The Bachelor like I am?
I want to talk about life beyond the diaper bag. I want a mom meet-up that feels like girlfriends catching up — where being a mom is part of us, but not all of us.
I just want to yap about LIFE!
I can't be the only mom wanting a mom meet-up that goes deeper than motherhood...right?
Please tell me you're out there too. The mom who wants to talk about the new restaurant downtown, the book that kept you up until 2am, or a hobby you’ve been itching to get into. The mom who is absolutely thrilled about her kid but is also thrilled about a million other things too.
Maybe next time I'll host my own meet-up. The invitation will read: "Moms Welcome. Motherhood Chat Optional."
We’ll chat about our babies for the first 15 minutes. Then move on. To books. To career, to dreams. To relationships. Anything else. Everything else.
If you’re a fellow mom who wants the same, consider this your unofficial invite. I’ll bring the charcuterie board. You bring the convo. Let’s find our people. Who's in? 🙋🏻♀️
take a few seconds
👯♀️ Ways to connect within motherhood & beyond
7 low-pressure ideas for a mom meet-up that don’t revolve around nap schedules
The Stroller Stroll & Spill – A neighborhood walk with iced coffees in hand. No agenda, just steps, sunshine, and maybe a little tea.
Book Club(ish) – Read a book, or just come for the snacks and talk about who triedto read the book. No judgment. Bonus points if it’s not parenting-related.
Reality TV Recap Night – Bachelor, Love Is Blind, Real Housewives…whatever your flavor, gather and unpack the drama like the cultural scholars we are.
Show & Tell – Everyone brings a little something they’re into: a new hobby, a small biz idea, a favorite Trader Joe’s snack. Instant conversation starter.
Cozy Craft Hour – Watercolors, embroidery, paint-by-numbers, sticker books. Something with your hands while you’re able to connect without the pressure.
Mom's Night In – Forget the logistics of going out. Rotate homes, wear sweats, light a candle, and talk about anything but kids. Okay maybe a little about kids. But just a little.
Pod Club – Like a book club, but for people who can’t finish a book right now. Pick a podcast episode and come ready to chat, vent, or spiral (safely).
The goal? Create space for connection that celebrates you. Not just your title as “mom.” Because moms deserve meaningful conversation too. 💬
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So if you're also out here navigating new cities, new friendships, new versions of yourself; just know you're not alone. It takes courage to show up, to stay true to who you are, and to keep making space for connection beyond the title of “mom.”
And if you're ready to host your own version of a mom meet-up where it’s not all motherhood chat, here’s a little something to help set the tone: These conversation cardsare low-key perfect for sparking deeper convos without the awkwardness. Think ice breakers, but actually fun.
If you’re looking for some more crafty fun perhaps an embroidery kit you can share with new friends or try your hand at some air dry clay. Or perhaps you all are renown candle makers!
There are so many options to make a mom meet-up more fun, less pressure to talk about all things motherhood, and literally just ✨vibe.✨
Cheers,
Ari
Your fellow mom who gets it
P.S. What's something non-mom related you'd love to chat about at a mom meet-up? Leave a comment and let me know! I'm building my conversation starter arsenal for next time.🥂
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